Player Profiles
Phil Stice
Midfielder/Striker
#13
As co-captain of the team, Phil Stice has been a force to be reckoned with since his freshman year. Although his playing time back then was limited due to his pressing fraternity commitments, his presence on the field has gradually increased as he has slowly but surely realized that there's more to life than just visors and corn hole toss. With his deadly right foot and deceptively shifty hips, Phil can singlehandedly take over a game. After he scores, he has the unmatched ability to further humiliate his opponent with a subtle but biting celebration.
Charlie Steward
Midfielder
#6
The other co-captain and, incidentally, the only paid player in UGA club history, Charlie takes pride in elevating his squad to another level. No matter that the weight of his teammates can sometimes get to be heavy, he somehow manages the responsibility with ease. With uncanny foresight and an unmatched knowledge of the game, Charlie easily picks his opponents apart from the middle of the field. His deft passes and revolutionary footwork are complemented by stout defense and a pinpoint shot. Though his onfield banter can sometimes be misconstrued as obnoxious, it is nonetheless extremely witty and never fails to get at least a few chuckles.
Joe Hampl
Midfielder/Striker
#10
Questionably known for his unending love for second class rap artist Nelly, Joe Hampl has been a member of the team since he was a sophomore. After a free agency stint during his first year at UGA, he couldn't resist the smell of fresh cut grass, and quickly returned to the pitch, delighting his teammates and worrying his opponents. Although speed has never been his strong point, Joe has a rocket shot, and he is always outfitted with really nice cleats. An academic in the purest sense of the word, Joe also has the ability to play mind games with his foes, hiding his intellect with an excited stutter. Off the field, when he's not slowly nursing a Natural Light or happily devouring a Nerd Rope, Joe can be found hosting dance parties in his apartment.
Matt Gaziano
Defender/Midfielder
#12
Nobody can question Matt's love for family, and his devotion to his teammates is just as prevalent as that to his underage sister. Affectionately known as "Gaz," Matt brings much more to the squad than just a sweet knife and a Hooah attitude. He has the work ethic of a clydesdale and a slidetackle that could fell a redwood, and the team benefited greatly when the cold weather of Indiana University sent him cowering back to his home state of Georgia. A fledgling triathalete, Gaz is also a fitness buff, and he never misses the opportunity for a rousing pushup contest. He's a real stickler when it comes to form, however, so be sure and lockout your elbows.
Jacob Kennedy
Defender
#17
On loan from the Americanized Ninja Coalition, Jake has been prowling the defensive third for two glorious years. With his unmatched aptitude for anticipation, he can part striker from ball quicker than you can say Nunchaku. Hardly a one-trick pony, however, Jake has also been known to score a goal or two, showcasing his talents as he deftly slips between defenders, internally laughing at their unworthiness. Although forbidden to practice ninjutsu around mere civilians, Jake can be persuaded to mysteriously disappear if supplied with an adequate amount of Popov.
Mark Thiel
Defender
#11
A self-proclaimed Casanova, Mark Thiel is much more than just a pretty face. His bright outlook and cock-eyed optimism not only make him popular with the fairer sex, but they also go a long way toward boosting the morale of the team. Unfortunately for opponents, however, Mark leaves his smile on the bench when he laces up the boots. His bone-crushing tackles have been supplying steady revenue to orthopedists throughout the southeast for three years, and they have slowly made their way into UGA lore. Additionally, Mark has the strongest clearance this side of the Mississippi, and he proudly keeps a running tally on his bathroom mirror of the number of balls lost in the woods that he's responsible for.
Austin MacKain
Defender
#20
Although he sometimes foolishly forgets his Neutrona Wand, Austin is the man to call. Whether it's a pesky poltergeist or threatening corner kick, this displaced flower child can be counted on to solve just about any problem, as long as it does not require stoicism or a straight face. Entering his third year on the team, Austin has solidified himself as a staple in UGA's back four. With his commanding defensive presence, AMac can strike fear in the heart of any opposing striker with just a single giggle.
Kevin Fry
Midfielder
#7
Despite the fact that many people are emabarrassed to be seen with Kevin in public, he quickly endeared himself to the team with his semi-humorous jokes and impeccable beer pong skills. Since his transfer from Kennesaw State University, "Fry-Baby," as he petitions us all to call him, has been setting both sides of the field ablaze with his unusually long feet. An outside midfielder, Kevin is equally adept at serving up a cross or beating his defender en route to the goal. Soccer is not his only extra-curricular, however. A brief glimpse at his ankle reveals Kevin's other love - the proud tradition and tight brotherhood bondage of Delta Tau Delta.
Frantz Destin
Striker
#9
Far removed from his days as a Hollister model, Frantz has finally settled into the real world. And, while the soccer field may not be as glamorous as virgin daiquiris and fuzzy-lettered t-shirts, the team is glad that he did so. To accompany his remarkable speed, Frantz has a jumping ability similar to that of Nate Robinson. With his quick feet and surprisingley powerful shot, he is a terror to opponents. And, as an international bonus, Frantz hails from the white sands of Haiti, where he learned to speak five equally beautiful languages, as well as French.
Michael White
Goalkeeper
#0
When he can tear himself away from his startup indie music group, Mike casts a big shadow between the pipes. Even though his schedule is loaded with band party gigs and intramural basketball games, this bear of a man still finds time to patrol the goal for UGA. While keeping a clean sheet is Mike's main area of expertise, he can be counted on for other assignments, as well. Among his most recent was a brief stint at striker. Although he failed to find the net, he did manage to set the record for quickest red card in team history, a non-fictional tall tale that is still being whispered about on the campus of Augusta State University.
Brian Griffin
Midfielder
#15
A culinary genious, "Griff" decided to forgoe a promising career path at the Art Institute of Atlanta for the chance to play soccer at UGA. After a brief battle with eyesight problems, Brian has finally been able to lay down the rec specs and eye patches in order to devote his full attention to his on-field duties. For the past two years, this ball of fire has roamed the middle of the pitch with an insatiable appetite for his opponent's pain. He has freakishly quick feet, an impossibly accurate shot, and a stepover move the likes of which can make a small child squeal with glee. He has a good heart, but beware of his bad side. Certain antics have been known drive Brian close to the homocidal drowning of even his dearest friends.
Quint Wilson
Striker
#21
Voted best dressed by his high school peers, Quint made huge contributions throughout his freshman season on the team. Although he was originally chosen by accident, due to his looks that are indistinguishable from former teammate and recent UGA grad Dylan Riley, it was quickly obvious that Quint was no mistake. He can always be counted on to pull the team through a rough spot, whether that means scoring a timely tally or filling in as backup goalkeeper. When he can be coerced from his humble highrise on Baxter street, this funloving youngster is also a delight to share an ice cold glass of chocolate milk with.
Tyler Hoyt
Midfielder/Striker
#19
The proud father of a newborn son, Tyler still finds time to bolster the team with his unmatched drive to win. After two full years on the squad, he continues to give maximum effort every time he laces up, and his ability to be in the right place at the right time usually leads to goals. When he's not playing soccer or changing diapers, Tyler likes to shave the letter "T" into his head, sometimes spawning everlasting nicknames. His contagious laugh makes him a roadtrip favorite to teammates, but his onfield demeanor and muscular physique command respect from opponents.
Stephen George
Defender
#3
No one can ever accuse Stephen of simply following the crowd, and he rightfully prides himself on his trailblazing fashion sense. Straight from the mountains of West Virginia, this transfer player has brought with him a bag full of soccer tricks to complement his cosmopolitan hairstyle. The rare defender that is always a threat to net some points of his own, Stephen is obviously comfortable in any third of the field. Not only can the former Mountaineer serve pinpoint crosses to oncoming teammates, he can also use his meant-to-embarrass foot skills to make his way into a scoring position of his own. And, although he may lose a fight every now and with a pair of hair clippers, never does Stephen take second in a battle with an opposing striker.
Patrick Bentley
Striker
#23
Every team needs it. The one player whose chiseled frame and menacing attitude cause opponents to quickly wish they had not stepped foot on his field. The go-to guy when a dirty slide tackle sidelines a teammate, and a definitive message needs to be sent. The Mighty Ducks had Fulton Reid. The Georgia Bulldogs have Pat Bentley. Dirty fouls are not his craft, however. Patrick needs no more than easy speed and Herculean strength to get the job done. When he’s not acting as enforcer, the red-shirt Junior is a very effective goal scorer, using his uncanny field awareness and unmatched determination to tally points in even the most desperate situations.
Zach Cowart
Midfielder
#4
It wasn’t until his parents finally put a monthly cap on his cellphone minutes that Zach really started to show the focus needed to fully apply himself on the soccer field. Now, instead of spending endless hours spreading the latest he-said/she-said, he devotes his time to perfecting the stepovers and scissor kicks that he has come to be known for. Roaming the center circle, Zach has an unrivaled ability to quickly find an open teammate. Rarely does this young man turn the ball over, and he often breaks a few ankles is the process of distributing perfectly placed through-passes. Even though his gum flapping still needs to be held in check on occasion, the sophomore has solidified his spot as a premier up and comer.
Patrick Kennedy
Goalkeeper
#1
Although you may have had to ring the bell more than once to get service during Patrick’s shifts, you certainly won’t catch him sleeping on the job once he steps between the pipes. Although he slyly used his well-established brother as a bargaining chip for his original admission to the team, Patrick has been nothing but a saving grace since his transfer from the “Harvard of the South.” His lateral quickness has the ability to quickly shrink the goal, and his fearlessness in the box allows him to gobble up in-swinging crosses as if they were the tasty Twig and Berries he was once famous for serving up at all Athens-area Planet Smoothie locations. Distractions are useless as a means of attack, since not even a Screamsicle can break Patrick’s icy focus.
Dave Maity
Midfielder
#14
Don’t be fooled by his calm demeanor and enticingly fuzzy facial hair. Even in times of peace, this Indian outlaw should never be ignored. His internal manifest destiny serves to relentlessly drive his advances down the field, and he can sometimes appear supernatural as he rain dances his way up the sidelines. Always on the hunt for his next goal, Dave Maity continuously roams the grassland in search of the ball. Once in his possession, he can do magical things with it. His stutter step has made past opponents quit on the spot, and his precise crosses can make any teammate look good. And, although of slender frame, Dave has a war cry that can send chills through even the most hardened of enemies.
Lauri Lindberg
Defender
#2
Holistic medicine is more than just a hobby for Lauri, it’s a way of life. Since his inaugural 2008 season, this modern day Patch Adams has made the health of his teammates priority number one. Sprained ankles and torn ACLs are no longer a problem for UGA soccer. Give Lauri a bottle of bubbles and maybe a whoopee cushion or two, and he’ll have any ailing player up and running in no time. His friendliness in the training room pales in comparison to his ferociousness on the soccer field, however. No punt, cross, or downfield pass can possibly escape Lauri’s heading clearance, and it’s only the rare striker that can evade him on the ground. Additionally, he’s made attacking corner kicks much more fruitful in his two years on the team. After the game, this Finnish transplant likes to unwind with a nice steam in the sauna, followed by a piping hot bowl of porridge.
